As one approaches 62, all manner of thoughts begin to swirl around in one's greying head. There are the normal "getting older" thoughts like, "who IS that in the mirror?", or the uncomfortable feeling you get at the grocery when the 10 year old checkout boy looks at you as if you weren't there. It's hard to explain how crummy it feels to be invisible, you will just have to get older to understand that one.
There are, too, the wonderful, "I am so glad I did that" thoughts, the "I'll pass on that, thank you" thoughts, the "slowing down is kinda fun" thoughts, the "let's stay home tonight" thoughts, and lots of others that make getting older just fine. Then, there are the "if I don't do this now, I'll never have the chance" thoughts. Those can be extremely motivating. The idea that I will never have a pony tail again if I don't start one now has inspired me to persevere through all the shaggy hair days ahead in the hope I'll soon enjoy that ever-stylish, maintenance- free pony tail I wore in my forties. With the help of headbands, barrettes, bobby pins and clips I resolve to see this dream become a reality. If, when I reach my goal, I discover it's not all that it was cracked up to be, I'll whack it off, but I will never have to say, "if only."
I have much bigger dreams for my future, of course. Maybe the dream of growing old with a ponytail will serve to remind me along the way that "the longest journey begins with the first step." There are much greater decisions to make as a person reaches the last third of life- decisions that can affect the quality of his life and everyone in it, for that matter.
I want to reach the end still resolving, still trying, still hoping and still smiling.
"Even the woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head and keeps pecking away until he finishes the job he starts." Coleman Cox
2 comments:
Elaine,
I was just thinking about you today...about how much I miss your heart, your face, your sweet simplicity that pierces my soul like an arrow.
I love watching your life through this window...and who would have dreamed that you would have a ministry through something called a blog...but you do, sweet friend...you minister to me every time I come to this page. I am drawn into the grace and peace of your beautiful, sweet life once again, leaving restored and renewed.
How I love you, sweet friend.
Renee
P.S. Will you even recognize me in heaven...way up there at the table with Mother Teresa and Joshua?
Elaine,
I meant that you would be up at the top of the table with Mother Teresa and Joshua and I would be so far down the table that you wouldn't be able to see me.
Renee
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